. . . I decided last night to part with my girlfriend of about 7 months. This decision was not an easy one, nor was it decided in haste. I care for her immensely, but something was just not clicking for me. Unfortunate because she liked me very much.
Since I have been in few relationships, I never would have realized going through this process would be so sad and painful. This coming from someone with a caring and sympathetic heart.
At this point, the house feels empty even though she only came over a few times. I mostly went over to her place for various reasons. My birthday is around the corner and she actively spoke about plans for that day. There goes that surprise. And there goes the trip to Kansas to visit her older daughter.
What did she have going for her? Outgoing, smiling almost constantly, very caring, good cook, active, and manages money well. On the negative side . . . I'll leave that open ended. I'll simply say it was a number of things that I could not specifically put my finger on.
It is amazing that once you open your lips, you all of a sudden start to ponder what kind of mistake you are making - even though you think you gave that plenty of consideration in making your decision to part.
To C, if you should ever read this, know that I do care for you and know the decision to part was not an easy one. You will make a wonderful wife one day.
3 comments:
I'm truly sorry...such decisions are never easy, but what you must do is not second-guess yourself, or it will drive you mad. For a third-person perspective based on your narative here, it sounds like "wonderful person that just didn't fully click with you"; it's a big world with lots of people and opportunities, so it was the BEST thing for both of you to end things if it wasn't going to go anywhere. I hope that makes sense, as I am not meaning to be hurtful to either you or C.
On another note, I wanted to touch base here, say "hey", and share with you the sad fact that on this day (the 11th) that you posted, Patrick and I had to go to the vet and see Penny off....such a wonderful and amazing cat: he had just turned 17 years old the month before, and he'd been my best friend for 16.5 of those years since I adopted him. He was diagnosed a few days before that with inoperable, metastatic adenocarcinoma of the small intestines. Our hearts are still torn to pieces, but we feel better knowing that he is not in pain.
My 40th birthday was the day after, and I can assure you that there was NO celebration.
Very sad to hear about Penny. I know you will feel empty for a while.
I know what you are saying about the relationship. Because she does have a number of good qualities, I tried rebooting my perspective on her a number of times in an effort to see her in a different light. Unfortunately, I decided that I could only try a systems reboot so many times before future efforts would become fruitless. She thoroughly disagrees.
Anyways, good to hear you and P are still together and also good to hear from you even under unfortunate circumstances.
You know, I've had relationships in the past (you might know of one) that were with truly terrific people but just were not "it" for long term; please do not beat yourself up over this, and I am in no way trying to demean C at all, but if one partner is not into it 100%, both will suffer down the road. You did the absolute right thing in your actions, and perhaps she will be thankful later that you made such a mature move.
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